Sunday, April 12, 2015

Saying goodbye

*This post is very picture heavy, but for good reason.

A few weeks ago my family had to say goodbye to our sweet loyal goofball dog, Lady. 

This was the day we met and adopted Lady. My oldest son was only 3 1/2y.o.

It was hard. Harder than I thought it would be.
She had been having urinary tract infections and wasn't getting any better. Come to find out she had something wrong neurologically and there was nothing we could do. Her advanced age meant surgery wasn't an option. She was rescue.  11 when we got her. And she had to have a broken canine removed within days of coming to us. She was almost 16 when we let her go. 
A  visit that was just supposed to be some x-rays to check her bladder for stones ended up being the day we would say goodbye.
I called my husband sobbing and asked if he could come. The boys were beside themselves, crying.
That was so hard for me. Seeing my boys hurting and not being able to take the hurt away. My oldest has experienced loss before but my youngest doesn't remember a day without our Lady bug.
He sobbed, bawled, said he didn't want to let her go. My husband called back and talked to the boys. I am not sure what he said but they calmed down.
My husband arrived with precooked bacon and pepperoni slices. He brought her a last meal and she was absolutely thrilled!
See the hard part about this is other than the neurological disorder she was fine. She was happy and loved life. She woke each morning excited to greet the day and me and her boys. She couldn't wait for breakfast lunch and dinner and loved it when the boys dropped food or made messes! 
But she would have had constant urinary tract infections, her bladder was the size of a football because her nerves weren't communicating properly. She leaked urine constantly and would have had to be outside all the time. She wouldn't have been happy away from us.
She followed me through the house all day every day. She would have been miserable outside all the time. And for 3 days before she had been. I had made her a spot on the deck with a blanket and canopy. She was depressed. The boys and I went out and played with her many times and at night I locked her in the kitchen.
We had to let her go but it was hard. So hard. It's still hard. So we fed her the forbidden foods and enjoyed an hour with her. Then my husband took the boys out and I sat with her for the final goodbye. I cry as I write this, remembering.

It's funny because that dog drove me nuts. She would get excited and jump all over the place.
This is her manic excited/happy face

 She wasn't small. She was a German wire hair lab mix. So jumping around in my small kitchen was not a good idea but she didn't care. She was ridiculous and crazy. She hated loud noises, fireworks made her completely crazy. She hated harmonicas and recorders. She hated being left home for any reason. She was the sweetest dog with the biggest meanest bark you've ever heard. She terrified those who knocked on the door and didn't know she was a big old softy.
She barked at my husband every time he came home. She shed something terrible. I had to vacuum everyday.
And during July twice a day. She was a garbage hound and would eat anything she could find. She hated going to petsmart. She hated getting her nails trimmed.
But she loved going wherever we did. She loved my mom's dog. They would kiss each other whenever they met until the rest of us were like "get a room!"  

Lady and my mom's dog Tasha
The only dogs I know who like to wear clothes!

 The most important thing though was that she loved my boys. They could jump on her, pull her lips, her ears, step on her and she loved it all. She never snapped at them, never bit,  never growled. She adored them completely. And they loved her. Even though she could clear a room with her gas! 

Boy #2 at 1 year

Boy #2 at 5 years old

A boy and his very own special dog.

She stole his pillow! you snooze you loose with this dog!

Always had to be in the middle of it all.

Snoozing buddies

I miss her. And I was surprised by how much. How much I truly loved her and her sweet goofy excitable personality. 

She was such a major part of our family that we still, weeks later, do things that were routine but are now no longer necessary. 
We may perhaps get another dog someday. In the future. My oldest has said not until he is ten. Then he will be ready. We shall see. For now I am not ready. I am still hurting, still saying goodbye. Still getting used to life without my Lady.

Our Super Hero Dog

Lady loved Elmo


Legos make nap time AWESOME

She fell asleep like this

Road trip? ROAD TRIP!

She would always lay with her legs like this


Thank you for everything my Sweet Sweet Lady Bug. 

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